God is good all the time, all the time God is good!

"Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."
Hebrews 11:6

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Bent and Broken: A summary of Jonah

"Maybe we've been living with our eye's half open, maybe we're bent and broken.
We were meant to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?"





Such bent and broken people we are!


We go around living like we are so wonderful, like we have it made, like we deserve goodness, like we are worthy...


but the reality is that we are NOT wonderful, we do not have it made, we DO NOT deserve goodness and we ARE NOT worthy of anything good!

We are sinful people, deserving eternal separation from God.
Period, end of story!

Well, actually that is just the beginning of the story.



I was faced with the harsh reality of who we really are by way of the all too familiar story of a man who didn't want to do what God told him and got swallowed by a fish.



For the past four weeks we have been going through the book of Jonah.



Stop right there, now let's think about what we know about Jonah.



Every kid in Sunday School has heard of the great miracle story of Jonah. He was swallowed by a great fish and then spit back up on land! We might not know anything else but we would probably all claim to "know" the story of Jonah.

Even kids who haven't been in church to hear the story are familiar with the whale in Pinocchio.



Well, it seems that the childhood story of Jonah was far from complete. Somewhere between the stretch of the imagination and the pictures of a man being swallowed by a great fished I missed the WHOLE POINT OF THE STORY!



Jonah is just a huge mirror reflecting the majority of Christians today.



This story is so full of depth and conviction it is incredible! How is it that I have missed this for so long?



Let me go back to the beginning of the book and try to summarize just what all it can show us.

Jonah was told, very clearly by God, to go to Nineveh.

Now Nineveh was a bad city, full of wicked people who hated Israelites (which Jonah happened to be). So not the idea vacation spot or ministry destination.

But God called Jonah there regardless!

The loving God of grace and mercy wanted the people to know who He was and repent!

So did Jonah obey the Lord and step out in faith, believing that even though that sounded like the WORST idea ever, God would provide?

If he'd done that then we wouldn't get the picture we all know so well of that great fish...
No, Jonah decided to make his own plans.

He decided to say, "Ha, sorry God, I've got a better idea," and hopped on the first boat out of Joppa headed in the opposite direction.

He was going to Tarshish.

Now Tarshish we understand was a wonderful place, far off, exotic, exciting, glamorous, beautiful, and oh so comfortable!
Hmm... Nineveh or Tarshish...

Jonah sails out with a bunch of mariners thinking he had it made, leaving the awful thought of Nineveh behind, dreaming (literally- he was asleep in the boat) of the luxurious life ahead in Tarshish.
Pause
So at this point of the story, does any of this sound familiar? Is the reflection in the mirror looking familiar yet? Well, keep looking...
Not far out a storm hits... not just any storm... a beast of a storm!
In this storm, we are reminded that God is in complete control.
This storm, as in all storms of life, require a response...

1.) Fear

2.) Taking control- "We can do it"

3.) Careless indifference; passivity; denial and flight

4.) Faith in God
We see Jonah as the passive one, sleeping in the bottom of the boat. The mariners respond with fear.
Then we see an interesting thing happen. In the midst of the responses of fear and denial, there is a hurling of cargo into the sea. They were getting rid of all the unimportant junk that was weighing them down.
If you've seen the new movie Up, this is a great example of what was happening and that we often think that our stuff is so important to us, that it is going to get us through, like it will lead us to a happier better place, but really they just weigh us down!
So the mariners are seeing what is important, that being their lives alone!
They wake Jonah up, tyring to figure out who he was and why this horrible lot was upon them.
Get this, Jonah's response is, "I am a Hebrew, and I fear the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land."

Wait, hold up! Did he just say he feared the Lord?!? Really Jonah? Do you really fear the Lord?

It seems to me like you have become comfortable in your sin and don't really care about the Lord. Interesting...
So the men were even more afraid now and were like, "Dude, what were you thinking?"
They try to figure out what to do because they know that their boat is not going to withstand the storm much longer.
Jonah tells them to throw him overboard. Wow, that is the first time we see him stand up and own up to the responsibility. He knows that it is because of him that this storm is upon them and he knows that if he gets off the boat it will stop. His understanding of who the Lord finally comes out.

They didn't immediately throw him over, surprisingly. They tried to continue on but it was no use. They began to cry out to God, which is a big change from the beginning when they were all crying out to their own gods.
So Jonah gets hurled into the sea and a miraculous thing happens... "the sea ceased from its raging."

Then we see how the Lord uses Jonah's sin to bring about salvation. The mariners feared God exceedingly, realizing that He was the one true God. Salvation belongs to the Lord!



At this point in the story, we might be thinking, wow Jonah, you really deserve whatever bad thing happens to you because you did not obey.

Well, as you may recall, this is the point when God appoints a big fish to come swallow him up. But despite how much we want to think that part of the story is punishment, it is actually not at all!

God has remained in control and at this point rescues Jonah from death!

Oh how merciful and gracious God is!!
The grace that He gives Jonah may not be comfortable... 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of a big fish, but it is undeniably God's grace.
Pause
Are you still looking into the mirror that has been placed in front of you to analyze your own situation? Is the picture clear yet?
We go through uncomfortable grace sometimes!

God closes us in so that all we think about is Him. It is in the confinement, the limitation, the uncomfortable grace that we get a right view of God.
One of the biggest things about this one verse of the story is that it reminds us how quickly we forget the message behind God's methods.

I started off saying how all I could really remember about this story was Jonah being swallowed and spit back out on dry land!

Yea, I got the method of how God worked but I completely missed the message behind it!
This is convicting! The method has no meaning whatsoever without the message!
Back to Jonah...
He was just swallowed, and now, ah now we get to where I started this blog by saying we are bent and broken people!

I get that idea from Jonah. Thank you Jonah for showing me the reality of what I am like sometimes.
In Jonah 2:1-9 we get his prayer from in the fish.
Now you would think that this would be the point were Jonah admits he was wrong for disobeying, repents of his sin, asks for forgiveness and praises the Lord for saving him from death!

But is that what he does? Ha, not hardly!
Jonah shows us what it means to have synthetic spirituality.

He says some words and makes it sound sort of nice, sprinkling a little of the Psalms in there, but the heart of his prayer is downright wicked!

It is lacking humility, repentance, acknowledgement of who God is!!

He even plays the shift the blame game, pointing out others sins to make himself and his own sin seem better.
Wow!
This is the point where I was completely blown away at the story, even more than I had already been.
Just think about it!
Jonah, a prophet of God, oblivious to his own sin, trying to gloss over the situation by praying empty words that seem spiritual.

He does not like the uncomfortable grace God has him in and he wants out!
That mirror I've been looking into has become way too clear!
How often do I act like Jonah?

How often do I sprinkle a little Jesus on things to make them look better, when my heart is no where near right?
1 Sam. 15:22 points out that it is better to obey than to sacrifice

Micah 6:5-6 also reminds us of what the Lord desires for our hearts to be like.
We are so mistaken to think that we, YOU and I, broken, messed up people, have anything to offer God!
But God is for His own glory and He pours his love on us in mercy and grace so that we can glorify Him and make much of Him!
Wow, this whole story up to this point has rocked my world!
There is so much truth that I have missed and overlooked in this one man's life. I need to learn from Jonah! I need to hear the message of how gracious our God is over how cool His methods of working are.
Bent and broken people we are, in the midst of a lost and dying world...
but we have HOPE! We have JOY from a Savior who, despite our sin and our selfishness, took the punishment for us, willingly, lovingly, undeservedly!
That is a message that we should NEVER forget! It is not about the method of a cross... it is about the act of a God who is so much bigger than ourselves and who loves us infinitely more than we could ever reciprocate, and we grow more and more in debt to grace every day, but that is exactly how He wants us to be!
Grace, grace, God's grace!!!
So yes, we were meant to live for so much more... for God and not ourselves!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

There are only two paths...

It has been a whirlwind of a week!

I was so wonderfully encouraged last weekend by the visit of one of my best friends, Ms. Anna Wadsworth. She drove all the way to see me, through all the obstacles- the 300 mile distance, my unclear directions, her ADD and the lack of Diamond Shamrock gas stations in the route from my house to CS!
She taught me how to make an awesome garden casserole, as well as some tasty baked sandwiches! WHOOP! I'm getting domesticated!
My future husband is going to appreciate it :D hehehe

Last week was week one of our VBS, which we call Summer Camp. We have our Summer Camp at the local Boys and Girls Club, only a few blocks away from the church. This is our 4th year to have Summer Camp at the BGC. It is truly amazing to see how the Lord has worked through this non-traditional way of doing VBS.

***A special insight, when I did this Children's Ministry Internship for the first time 4 years ago, this particular idea, taking the message of the Gospel out into the community, ministering to kids outside the walls of the church, changed my life forever! It honestly made such a HUGE impact on me that I have never been the same since. After that summer I knew that I wanted to minister to kids, out in the community, and be a light into the lives of kids who live in a lot of darkness. The next semester of college I changed my major to Sociology, without ever having taken a class or really even knowing anything about what I was getting into, after much prayer of course. I took the giant leap of faith into something I could not deny my passion for. Kids and Jesus... And that was only the beginning. It was a semester later that the Lord brought me Living Hope, and about a year after that He brought me the Children's Ministry at Living Hope. Both of which He used to DRASTICALLY change my life!!! And just think... all stemming from a strange idea to have VBS out in the community rather than inside the church... how compelling!
WOW! I had forgotten about all that until I just wrote it... I had almost forgotten how I got to where I am today. Thank you Lord for reminding me of how faithful you are. You are so amazing and you do truly equip the called!

So back to my recap:

This year it was decided to have two weeks of camp, one for 1st -3rd and the other 4th-6th.

Week 1 of Summer Camp was really great!

The theme is Soles for Jesus and that we only have two paths to walk on.
The path of SIN, which we are all born on, or the path of TRUSTING IN JESUS, which we choose to walk on by believing in the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The numbers were just right to where leaders were able to really connect with the kids more deeply. It allowed for genuine conversations about the truths presented. It was extremely gospel centered! There is not a lot of frill or hype about a special decor, it is basically just an amazing message presented in an extremely practical and engaging way.
There were several kids who admitted that they had never heard truth like what they heard that week. They had never heard about who Jesus really was or about sin.

Just think, even in a small town of about 10,000, maybe a few 1000 more if you include the surrounding area, there are still people who have not heard the gospel!!!
For being a christian dominated area, where there are about 25 Christ affiliated churches, there are too many people who haven't heard truth, even if that means a few 1st-3rd graders.

When you think about it, if those kids haven't heard about it, then that means they are not being taught at home. And if they are not being taught at home then their parents must not know. And if the parents do not know, then somewhere within this "christian area" there is a lack of information being exchanged.

That should bring conviction... if it doesn't, either you're too prideful for what you think you're already doing or you just don't get the urgency of the message of Christ.
I know it gave me a chill just thinking about how lazy and self centered that must make me!

On the last night, the families of the kids were able to come and share the Summer Camp experience and hear what their kids had heard and get a glimpse of the message of Christ.
Our prayer is that through this, through the follow-up that will happen after camp, and through us having open arms and open hearts, the people will come to know the Lord in a personal, intimate way.

It was exhausting... four days of work plus four nights of camp until 8:30 makes for some long days.
It was also worth it.
Praise the Lord for his rest and renewal this weekend.

I feel like I am ready to march into another week of Summer Camp and just life in general!

As I do, I have to remember, there are only two paths...

... which one am I going to choose to walk on?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Irresistible Revolution

In the blink of an eye, in the stretch of the arm, in a drawn out yawn... the day comes to an end.

I can hardly believe it has been a week already! What an amazing week it has been though.

I pause and think...

We are called to live a life worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him. When you meditate on that, it should bring us to our knees in humility because none of us live a life like that! Not one!
I shudder to think of how far from "fully pleasing" my life can be sometimes. But then I am warmed with an overwhelming peace and undeniable comfort when I think of what my Savior did for me to allow me to receive mercy from what i deserve and grace in what I don't deserve.

Colossians 1:9-14 says:
"And so, from this day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. 11 May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, 12 giving thanks to theFather, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 13 He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son. 14 in who we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Now that is powerful!

I want to be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.
I want to truly walk in a manner worthy of the Lord that is pleasing to Him.
I want to increase in the knowledge of God.

This week has just been a small glimpse of how living in obedience to the Lord, affects everything for the Lord!

I have been able to share my testimony in so many ways this week!!
My testimony of how the Lord is working in my life right now, how He has changed my life over the past semester and how He alone has brought me to the place I am now. Everything that the Lord has brought me through over the past months is being used in my life right now!
God is truly taking my life and making it his tool.
He ordained the meetings, He arranged the conversations and He alone will bring forth fruit from it in some way or another for the Glory of God!

My job as the intern at FBC Snyder is just a small part of how the Lord is using me. That may be how I am being financially supported while I'm here (beside my loving parents) and where I spend most of my time but it is in no way the extent of my work.

I am rejoicing, literally bursting over with joy, in everything that has already been shown to me in ONE WEEK!

God just wants me here to unapologeticly take a stand for HIM! Just love HIM first! And like verse 11 of Colossians 1 says, "I will be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy," and I get to share in the inheritance of the saints in light! In the presence of the Lord! Away from darkness!
When I think about my purpose in terms of what I have going for me, rather than what I have going against me, here in this seemingly dull town of Snyder, I get PUMPED!

I know that is all a bunch of broad stuff and not a lot of detail, but just understand that the Lord is truly moving in this place. He is moving way beyond my capacity to comprehend and I'm only getting small glimpses of Him. It's the start of an Irresistible Revolution (which is a book by: Shane Claiborne that was recommended to me by a friend, another friend, his friend and a youth minister here in Snyder, which I am starting to read). *although, i'm just going to say, i think Living Hope might be ahead of the curve of this trend, only thanks to our amazing God!!!

Things might be done in a different way than I think or am familiar with and it may happen in different timing, but there is no doubt the Lord's desire is clear: He wants His people to return to Him and be saved from the detestable world.

It doesn't matter if it's here in Snyder, back in Bryan/College Station, down in Houston or on the far side of the Earth, the Lord desires for us to walk in a manner worthy of Him, fully and pleasing, pointing to Him in every way... and if we are striving for anything less than that... we've missed the mark!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Here I Am... Lord Send Me

Well, that was my prayer and that is exactly what He did.

I start my summer off in a very familiar place...
a place where the wind blows, as well as the dirt, tumble weeds, your hair and anything else that's not cemented in the ground...
where wind mills have become the new "oil boom"...
where the white buffalo is an honored animal...
where flat lands are considered beautiful..
where the nearest Super Walmart is about 40 miles away!

That's right, this summer the Lord has sent me to my home town of Snyder, TX!

But ya know what... i'll let you in on a little secret. I'm actually really excited to be here!

I have to admit that I was looking forward to coming home to do ministry in this town where I see God working and get to spend quality time with two of my favorite people in the world, my mom and dad.

Yesterday was the start of my summer mission at First Baptist Church. I am working with the lovly Traci Hogan (soon to be a new last name :)) in the Children's Ministry as the summer intern.

Traci and I first met three summers ago when we were both interning at the church, her for the youth and me for the children.
Now, with her as the Children's Minister. I get to revisit my familiar church and allow the Lord to once again use me to touch kids lives through this ministry.

This summer is going to be very unique for many reasons.

1... I am a completely new person! The old has gone and the new has come. I have changed so much since those first two summers of college when I worked at FBC Snyder. The Lord has made me a completely new creation and revived within me a life that I never fully knew before! My passion for Him is stronger than ever and my desire to share the good news of my Savior Jesus Christ pushes me in ministry.
2... I am at a completely different place in my life. I am being persued in courtship by an amazing man who loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength! He is such a blessing to me and always encourages me and challenges me in the Lord.
3... I have never wanted to be in two places at once as much as I do now. While I have such a strong desire to be here, doing ministry, using what God has equipped me with and enjoying my parents; I also want so deeply to be back in College Station/Bryan. Not only is there an amazing body of believers there who have helped make me who I am in the Lord, two very special people, who are so dear and close to me are there. Two of my best friends that are so unique in my life and can compare to no one else!
Not to mention the fact that Houston is only about an hour and fifteen minutes away from CS as opposed to seven from Snyder.

All in all, it is only the Lord who has lead me here to Snyder, given me the ability to walk by faith and actually get here and rejoice in all that He has in store and not dwell on all that I am leaving behind.

I know that the Lord's plans are higher than mine. I know He is taking care of me. I know He understands my heart. I also know that it is His glory and not my own that I am made to proclaim.

So, Here I am Lord! You've already sent me, now use me!
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Starting Over

I am starting over, in more ways than one.

First of all, it's been over six months since my last post so I'm starting over with keeping a blog. It's about time I got back to writing again. I've needed to give a few soliloquies over the past months and haven't, thus I have no way of going back and tracking what was going through my head and how the Lord brought me through it! That is unfortunate! I've missed some opportunities for raw truth and simple entertainment.

So, the first facet of my new start.

Next, I'm starting over in life, basically because that is what has to happen after you graduate from college! Plain and simple, I have to!

As of December 13th,2008, I was no longer a student. That date marked the last day of what seemed like a lifetime of learning to be an adult. 16 years of training, of books, homework, tests and grades to prove myself ready to face the world as a grown up.

Well... I did it. I read the books, I studied, spent way too much on coffee, took the tests and now have the fancy piece of paper that deems me ready for the rest of my life!

WHAT? Is this really happening? Am I really a graduate of Texas A&M University? A former student? An old ag? Am I really done with school? Do I really have to be a grown up?
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's a small freak out that has been a long time in coming!

It all ended so quickly. My last semester of college started, i blinked and then bam it was all over. I had walked across the stage, done my little dance and that was it!

I am now faced with this new task of starting over.

It is a fresh new start on a life the Lord has been preparing me for so intentionally for 21 years.
He has brought me this far and He is not leaving me now! He is walking with me every step of this new life.

I am like a bird that has just been released from it's cage. I am free to fly wherever the Lord is telling me to fly. The funny thing is, He isn't telling me to fly anywhere. He is telling me to stay right where I am for a while. He doesn't want me spreading my wings to soar to new places yet. He still has work for me to do here. So, I will be obedient to what the Lord is saying, knowing that His plans are perfect and that some day He will allow me to use my wings and He will want me to go somewhere new.

There is no better place to be than in obedience to the Lord.

"This is the start, of something new, it feels so right, to be here with You ... I feel in my heart, the start of something new" (High School Musical)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"I'm that star up in the sky, I'm that mountain peak up high... hey I made it"



I climed a mountain today! That's right... a mountain, huge mound of dirt and rock and vegitation and I conquered it! I didnt think i would make it a few times. I was tempted to just sit and rest my tired bones and say I tried but nope, I actually made it up to about 800ft altitude in about 45 minutes. Wow! What a rush it was to actually make it to the top and see the amazing view! What a high... literally!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Stranded in Mexico

May 29, 2008

Today we left Playa del Carmen. It was a sad day… it is the last time we will see the beautiful Caribbean Sea.
The bus was of course about an hour late so we were behind schedule… no big deal though. So we head out, in route to Chichen-itza. About two hours or so into our trip, we are all pretty much asleep, being lulled by the moving bus, we hear a loud beeping noise coming from the front of the bus. We realize it is coming from the dashboard. It is some sort of alarm telling us that the bus is overheating or that there is some sort of malfunction and we need to stop. So about 15 minutes of driving with the loud annoying beeping sound we stop on the side of the narrow Mexican road to check out the problem. We are stopped for probably about 30 minutes or so and then its “on the road again.”
No less than 30 minutes on the road the delightful beeping noise comes back.
So we eventually stop at a small gas station in the middle of nowhere to check the problem again. This time we were stopped for over an hour. We entertained ourselves by way of games, a short jog to the end of the street and back and anything else we could think of to make the time go by. Luckily the weather was cloudy and pretty cool because it had just rained. It was a perfect day to be stranded at a gas station in the middle of nowhere with only $1 bag of chips that the Mexican gas attendant sold us, that really should have been like $0.25, and water. Haha
After the bus driver worked long and hard on the radiator we head out, yet again. We barely make it to the town we were suppose to stay the night in, Valladolid, before the beeping, yet again, filled our ears. So with our plans already really messed up we just stopped at our hotel and checked in.
This town is a good picture of a Mexican town. There are very few, pretty much none besides us, milling around the streets and staying in the hotel.
The hotel entrance is just a large double door in the side of the building front, just like any other store entrance on the small crowded street. When you enter the hotel you go right into the dinning area of the restaurant. It is all open air, so the heat and humidity just follow you wherever you go. As I said before, it is cloudy so that makes it nice. The décor is what I consider authentic Hispanic décor. Diego Rivera paintings on the wall, fountain in the middle of a courtyard, high arcs, plants everywhere.
I really feel like I’m in Mexico now. But it is a good thing. I like it.
Across from the hotel is a little park. It is beautiful with trees all around and a fountain in the middle. There are vendors lining the sidewalk selling all sorts of Mexican trinkets. I was a tourist today… I bought a Mexican dress from one of the ladies. It is beautiful. The dress part is white with beautiful big colorful flowers embroidered around the top around the collar and around the bottom. The underskirt or slip is hand sewn embroidery and is only white. Many of the women walking the streets are wearing this type of –vestida- dress. I’m so excited about my authentic Mexican moo moo! Haha
We made our way round to a beautiful old Catholic church that was filling with people as it was about to hold mass.
We found lots of Mexican stores, like the ones we learn about in the Spanish books like la Panaderia- bread store, la Zopateria- shoe store, la joyeria- jewelry store, la paleteria y halederia- ice cream store, even a pet store selling baby chicks.
We tried some amazing strawberry sherbet type ice cream.
It was a pretty uneventful day as far as going and doing things but it was still an exciting day!