When I started college, graduation was something I couldn't even grasp. Fightin' Aggie Class of 2009 - WHOOP!! That was a long time away and of course I never really thought fully about what would happen after I took my last test, got my final grades, and received that little paper that said Bachelor of Arts in Sociology... It was all way too far off!
I never thought that I would get to the point I am at now, look into my future and be absolutely scared, not knowing what the heck I was going to do next! I especially never considered the idea of graduating a semester early!! Earyl? Why would anyone ever choose to graduate early? Why choose to grow up faster? They must be crazy! Well, I guess I have officially tipped my rocker because I have now become one of those people. Of course nothing is set in stone yet, and it won't be until I actually do... take my last test, get my final grades and receive my diploma... but that is the way my life is starting to point.
So as I have been contemplating this new twist in my life the Lord has so clearly put on my heart, I have started really thinking about those foreign things people older than me talk about sometimes that I just sort of zone out thinking, 'Man, I've got plenty of time before I have to deal with that.'
Things like jobs- those things you sort of have been planning to do the whole time you've been in college and changed your major several times because you couldnt decide which job you would like best...
Those real things that people like my parents have and are essential for other little things like, paying bills, which are essential for having the three absolute essentials in life that everyone knows about- food, clothing and shelter!!
I mean, that is deep! In my young, so close to 21 I can almost taste it, literally, mind I am not to the point where independence is really tangible yet. I thought I had reached that milestone when I came to college... soon to figure out that was just a small bump on the road of dependant-on-my-parents highway! Sure I have to pay some of my own bills and I have a job and my own bank account now, but being grown up, not going to school, having a full time job, not getting to go for days without showering (j/k)... say what?? Hold the phone! Did I fall asleep in class and dream all this up or am I really going to have to be a grown up soon?? HA!
Now my story so far sounds pretty comical, but in reality, the unfolding of events were quite scary! As I started thinking about my future I started having all these questions come to mind:
What about getting married? When is that going to come?
What do I really want to do for a job?
Where will I live, will I stay here, will I move home (HAAA, yeah right!)?
Where is my husband?
What about doing an internship for a while, could I do that?
Am I ready for any of this?
Does God want me to get married?
What about Grad school?
Do I want to go to school 4 more years to study social work and theology?
What about money?
Where is the amazing man the Lord is preparing for me??
So that was sort of a glimps at my freak out. And the same question just happened to keep coming up... hmm... big shocker!
But in the midst of all this, I really was trying to evaluate my life in the Lord and see what would He have me do. What does the Lord really have planned for me? I was trying to read God's mind... where do we get the idea that will work?
I kept thinking about it and trying to come up with the answers or at least eliminate the things I knew couldn't be right.
All the while I was reading the chapter in Her Hands- Wise Women Life Purposefully. In this chapter, Heather points out our main purpose as women, to be man's helpers. So of course as I am reading about this, that little question that won't go away is blaring even louder in my head!
While I am reading, I realize I am missing the big picture! Yes it points out specificly what woman's role is to her husband and family, but it also clearly says that GOD HAS A PLAN!!
Plain and simple, He's got a plan! There is nothing you can do to add to it, change it or mess it up (Priase the Lord!). Why wouldn't I trust him with my future? Do I think he is too weak for the details, as Heather asks? Man, I just need to STOP IT!!
I should be practicing in my life now at this very moment, for my future. I am in training...I should be living to fulfill God's plan for me today, right now! If I am obedient to his word in these things... He of course will show me where I need to be obedient in the big things.
I should be trading my anxiety in for peace, through prayer. I should be putting my TRUST in HIM! I should have FAITH in the Lord's plan for my life and know that in HIS time, he will reveal the next step to me! Obedience is the key!
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE!
"I, always believed in futures...I hoped for a better November... say hello to good times...I always could count on futures" ~ "Futures" by: Jimmy Eat World
