God's Little Miracles

Tonight I had the privilege of holding the smallest person I have ever held, the youngest, purest, most precious little miracle! It was amazing!

The amazing bundle of joy was Gracyn Lynn Amy! 7.3lb, 19" and oh so beautiful. He belongs to the Amazing Amy's- Wade and Liz, the brother of the smaller Amazing Amy's- Grady and Will. I have had the honor of getting to know this family over the past few months and as I spend more time with them, the Lord continues to bless me and I grow to love them even more! They are truly a God sent and some of the greatest people I have ever met!!

I have never had the opportunity to really be around a pregnant woman before for a long period of time. I have never watched the process of pregnancy or really been a part of it. Sure I have seen my share of movies and T.V. shows and heard many a story but never actually known a pregnant woman close enough to walk with her through the pregnancy. I was pretty much clueless when it came to the reality of having a baby...

I forever will praise the Lord for placing me in the Amy's life at the exact time that He did to be able to experience such an amazing process. God is so big and mighty yet his plans are so intricate and perfect and I am constantly seeing the evidence of this resound through my life! It is breathtaking how AWEsome our God really is!

I only got to be a part of the last few months of the pregnancy but even in those few short months... the Lord has taught me so much. I have such a different perspective now than I did before. So of course, when it gets down to the end and momma is really ready to pop that baby out,I was there, waiting in anticipation with her. We even enjoyed a nice walk around the mall to try and walk the baby out! Haha, I guess it sort of worked because the next day... January 15, 2008, Gracyn arrived into the world at 6:02pm.

So this evening... anxious to see this beautiful creation from our Lord, I make it to the hospital. As I am waiting at the elevator one of the nurses is standing there waiting as well. She asks me where I am going and I say the 3rd floor. She asks who I am going to see, so I tell her The Amy's. Grinning she says, ah you're here to see the Amy's. What a sweet girl! And I agree and we talk for a few minutes about how they are such a great family and that I am very excited to see the new little one. I thought it was so cool how she knew exactly who Liz was and even though she didnt know her well, she could tell what kind of person she was. Even in birth, or i guess- especially in birth, God's light is shinning through us to those around us. We both go our separate ways, she is off to help deliver another baby and I am off to witness my first, as close to birth experience, I've ever had, besides my own birth of course.

I walk into the little room and see a girl- Chelsea at the foot of the hospital bed holding the baby, Liz sitting up in bed fully clothed, looking as beautiful as ever, Megan sitting next to her and Wade standing by the bed. Tears well up in my eyes as I am overwhelmed with the amazing sight, the baby, so quiet and tiny and there was such a sense of peacefulness throughout! I almost felt as if I should be looking onto this scene from a window or something so as to not contaminate it or mess it up with all the hustle and bustle I had just been a part of not 3 minutes ago outside the hospital. But immediately as I sit down on the foot of the bed next to Chelsea and Gracyn I feel calm, and warm, and happy all over! It was like everything else melted away. It didn't matter that I was meeting people at 8, it didn't matter that I had not eaten dinner, all that mattered was this tiny baby lying before me!

Again, God continues to bless me!! I feel so honored to have been able to be a part!
Liz, wonderwoman, who looked as beautiful and happy as ever, her normal self, you would have never known that 24 hours ago she was giving birth!! I pray that when the time comes for me, I will have amazing recovery like her and just bounce right back!!! WOW!
And then Wade, so gentle, so loving, again I had tears well up in my eyes just watching him interact with his newborn son! What a sight!
Then, so nervous and unsure, I was able to hold him! With a little coaching from everyone and some adjustments I got to hold little one day old Gracyn Lynn Amy in my arms and watch him sleep, and flutter his eyelids as he dreamed and scrunch his nose and yawn and purse his lips together... and experience God's creation on a dynamic like never before!
Wow! Amazing! It makes you warm and happy all over, but at the same time it makes me cry because it is just so beautiful! Life is so precious!

We are so blessed! Praise YOU Lord! YOU alone are worthy!

Will You Write Me A Love Song?

"I'm not going to write you a love song,
cuz you ask for it, cuz you need it,
I'm not gonna write you a love song,
cuz you tell me it's make or break in this
or you're on your way,
I'm not going to write you a love song, today."

That is the chorus to my latest life song
My obsession has taken new form... now in the words of "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles.

The really intriguing thing about the lyrics to this song is that when you really read them and think about them, they have such depth! They are empowering words for a woman... she is standing up for herself. No more letting yet another guy walk all over her, demanding her to do things, or leaving her hurt...

Head under water and you tell me, to breath easy for a while,
but breathing gets harder, even I know that.
Made room for me, but its too soon to see,
If i'm happy in your hands, I'm unusually hard to hold on to.
Blank stares at blank pages, no easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me...

(chorus)

I learned the hard way, that they all say things you want to hear,
My heavy heart says deep down under your twisted words,
your help just hurts. You are not what I thought you were.
Hello to high and dry.
Convinced me to please you,made me think I need this too,
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am...

(chorus)

Promise me you'll leave the light on
to help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
cuz I believe there's a way you can love me because I say...

(chorus)
Babe I'll walk the seven seas when I believe there's a reason
for me to write you a love song, today.

Very interesting...
As I ponder these words and search for the meaning, I wonder why someone would write this? What inspired Sara to write this... what happened in her past to where she finally had enough and took a stand?
I can not help but hurt thinking of how easily girls fall under that spell guys cast. They become so attached, so obsessed, so unhealthily involved that they will do just about anything they ask. They are so intertwined and they feed off the attention, whether it is actually good or not becomes irrelevant because as long as it is attention, even for just a fleeting moment, they can feel special.
The truth is, I've been there... maybe not to that extreme, but close enough... I've had those thoughts, I've longed for the attention of guys and I've tried to please... and I've also felt the pain that comes right along with all of that when... the attention span snaps and they are on to something new, when you don't seem good enough, when they have had enough of this game and are on to the next... when you are left wondering?? Left crying... racking your brain for what you could have possibly changed to make it better, going over the situation over and over again, thinking of how to fix it next time... but never, ever getting there. So you move on to someone new thinking maybe this time it will be different. Maybe he really means what he says. Maybe i will be satisfied if I just have him. The games begin, back and forth, maybe even trying new things to make you win a little faster or grab their attention even more, all the while degrading yourself and the very masterpiece God created. The longer it goes on the more you compromise yourself and your morals and the harder the sting in the end. It never fails... thirst for that kind of attention always leaves you even more thirsty than before, never satisfied.

But... ah ha... there is hope! There is a way to stand up and say NO! To stop playing the games, to heal the wounds, to stop new ones from forming, to quench your thirst and to be satisfied...

That, comes in the truly amazing mercy and love of our Heavenly Father!! HE gives you attention when no one else will, HE loves you when it seems like no one else does, HE makes you feel special, HE thinks you are perfect the way you are, HE does not require you to do anything to gain His love because nothing you can do is good enough, HE will quench your thirst and HE will truly satisfy when no one else will and because no one else can. There is nothing you can do to make that go away once you have honestly found it and there is nothing anyone else could offer that would ever be as good as what you find in HIM!

And that... is sort of what this song represents... on a very small, tiny and distorted scale... and that is what I think of when I look deep into the words and see where it moves me. I might have gotten a little carried away... but you got the point I hope.

Don't read my thoughts and be saddened... rejoice with me in who God is! Give HIM the praise!

So bounce your shoulders, sing the words, twirl around and be confident in who you are in HIM!! You are free, God has set you free!!!

Write HIM a love song.... today...

Feliz Nuevo Ano

3-2-1 Happy New Year!! The ball drops, you kiss (if you're lucky) or hug the special person close to you and go on celebrating yet another year to come. Laughter, cheering, toasting, remenicing... all happening on this one night when we get to watch time roll over, ending one year and bringing in the next.



This year, New Year looked a whole lot different. No big party, no fancy cloths or even any make-up at all, no big dinners, no music, no New Years Eve shows to watch on t.v., not even a t.v. at all... I say all that like it was a bad thing that I didn't have any of that, but really, it was not bad at all. I played games with some of the younger people on our trip who chose to stay up unlike most of the others. We laughed and had fun and at 10:55 Mexico Time, 11:55 Texas time, we played Ring-Around-the-Rosies as quietly as we could so as to not wake everyone sleeping until the clock turned 11, (12 Texas) and we all jumped up and down and hugged and wished each other a Happy New Year! We didn't even stay up to bring in the New Year for the Time Zone we were in. But even though it was a little different than many New Years Eve's in the past, it was still great.